Maria

Real Lives Maria's Story
"From the age of five right through until I left high school, I was bullied – both mentally and physically. Other kids in my class would spit on me and put chewing gum in my hair."

My Story 

From the age of five right through until I left high school, I was bullied – both mentally and physically. Other kids in my class would spit on me and put chewing gum in my hair. They’d call me all sorts of names and would constantly tell me I wasn’t good at anything. I had no friends and would sit at the back of the classroom so that they wouldn’t stare and make fun of me. My coping mechanism during those hard years at school, was to write stories where I lived in a fantasy world away from all the bullying.

"...three years ago, my middle son, Tommy told me he was being bullied. It was like history repeating itself and the memories of my own torment came flooding back."

Then three years ago, my middle son, Tommy told me he was being bullied. It was like history repeating itself and the memories of my own torment came flooding back. He told me there was a group of boys in his class who would call him names and began excluding him also telling other kids not to play with him. He became isolated from everyone to the point where he only had one friend. He was just six years old and was a bright kid who loved to learn, but he started making up excuses like he had a tummy ache so that he could stay at home.

I tried to speak to the school, but initially they weren’t very forthcoming. They thought Tommy was telling tales. In 2019 the bullying escalated, and I got a call from the school to say that Tommy was fine but there had been an incident. To my absolute horror these bullies had got very physical and violent with him. I felt physically sick – how could anyone be so cruel? The school’s response was just to keep Tommy in at lunchtime which didn’t help. My husband and I were at a loss of what to do next.

At home my son often read stories to his little brother at bedtime but one day he told me he wouldn’t do it anymore as the boys at school said he was thick and couldn’t read. I was devastated as I’d always encouraged him to read, so I decided to write a story for Tommy. I came up with the idea to write a book about bullying to empower him and other children who may find themselves in his same situation.

"Once the book was complete, I wanted an opinion from an anti-bullying charity and found Kidscape – their website was incredibly helpful with lots of advice about dealing with bullying and the charity invited Tommy and I to attend a ZAP workshop."

Once the book was complete, I wanted an opinion from an anti-bullying charity and found Kidscape – their website was incredibly helpful with lots of advice about dealing with bullying and the charity invited Tommy and I to attend a ZAP workshop. At the time, we were all in lockdown during the Coronavirus pandemic so we took part in their online session from the comfort of our own home. Seven other families took part with us and we each had to introduce ourselves and say one thing we were good at. Then we worked through their role play activities to learn about passive aggression, assertiveness and building confidence.

Tommy really enjoyed taking part - it helped that other children shared their experiences with him, and he knew he wasn’t alone, and the parents learnt how to follow the right procedure to report bullying to teachers. We ended the session feeling positive and hopeful for the new school year and while Tommy is nervous about going back to school in September, I’m sure he will use his newfound skills to stand up to anyone who might try to bully him.

"There are just too many children who can’t cope, and I hope their parents reach out to Kidscape for this support...The facilitators speak to the children in a way they can really understand, and the session helps parents to understand too..."

There are just too many children who can’t cope, and I hope their parents reach out to Kidscape for this support. They have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The facilitators speak to the children in a way they can really understand, and the session helps parents to understand too - especially if they’ve never been bullied themselves.

The more we talk about bullying, the more people will say it’s happening to them to the point where it’s just not acceptable to ignore it. No child should ever be deprived of their childhood.


MG Vaciago’s book Big Little Voice Colours the Grey is being published by Troubador publishing and is due for release in November to coincide with national Anti-Bullying Week.

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Kidscape Guardians are vital supporters of Kidscape, who are able to commit to making a regular donation to us. Kidscape Guardians help fund the continuation of our high impact programmes with children and families, and the development of new projects. When you make a regular donation you secure the future of Kidscape.

Your donation will go towards providing our life changing ZAP workshops free of charge to children and families, or help keep our Parent Advice Line open for another day.

As a Kidscape Guardian you will receive:

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  • Acknowledgment in Kidscape’s annual report
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Why not sign up and become a Kidscape Guardian today? Any support you can give will help to keep children safe from bullying; giving hope and practical help.

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