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Assertiveness for Children
Notes by Enid MacNeill, Sheffield Deptartment of Educational Psychology,
adapted for Kidscape
Aims:
- to introduce children to cope with new ways of behaving which will
give them strategies for coping with bullying
- to teach children to think differently about themselves by giving
themselves praise and encouragement
Basic concepts:
Assertion theory is based on the premise that every individual possesses
basic human rights:
- the right to be treated with respect
- the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them
- the right to refuse requests without having to feel guilty or selfish
- the right to ask for what you want (realising that the other person
has the right to say 'no')
- the right to be listened to and to be taken seriously
- the right to say "I don't understand"
- the right to ask for information
There are three response styles:
- passive
- aggressive
- assertive
A passive response is to behave as if other people's rights matter
more than theirs.
An aggressive response is to behave as if your rights matter
than those of other people.
An assertive response is to respect themselves and others equally.
We may think that we have a basic personality type are "timid',
"shy", "pushy" or "bossy". By using assertiveness
skills we can work towards what we want rather than pushing others around
or being a pushover. People will begin to respond to us differently too.
The thoughts we have about ourselves can help or hinder. Often we put
ourselves down saying "no one will like me", "I am hopeless
at this" etc. We can change this and say helpful things about ourselves
instead, like "I have the right to ask for what I want", "I
did OK", "It wasn't perfect but it was OK".
Download the full Assertiveness
for Children leaflet or find out more about our ZAP
courses
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Download the full Assertiveness
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