1. Understand the school policies

Remember, schools have a legal duty to prevent bullying and keep children safe. Read up on the school’s complaints procedure and their behaviour and anti-bullying policies. Schools are legally required to let parents see these policies.

If they are not on the school website, ask the school office for copies. This will help you understand the school policy on bullying and what you should do next.

2. Be clear on your child’s rights

Bullying is a form of peer-on-peer abuse, and all schools have a legal duty to keep your child safe from harm. This includes all types of bullying: physical, verbal, social, emotional and online.

If you live in England:

School legal duties are outlined in the Department for Education’s Preventing and Tackling Bullying and Keeping Children Safe in Education guidance.

If you live in Wales:

School duties are outlined in Rights, respect, equality: Statutory guidance for governing bodies of maintained schools.

Key points include:

Schools must have measures to prevent all forms of bullying (Education and Inspections Act, 2006)
These measures should be shared in the behaviour policy (some schools may also have a separate Anti-Bullying Policy)
Bullying is a child protection concern (Children Act 1989) and described as a form of ‘peer on-peer abuse’ (Keeping Children Safe in Education). There is not a law against bullying as such, but when there is ‘reasonable cause to suspect that a child is suffering, or is likely to suffer, significant harm’, a bullying incident should be addressed as a child protection concern under the Children Act 1989
Schools must take action to prevent all forms of harassment related to race, faith, gender, sexuality, age and disability (Equality Act 2010)
Some bullying behaviour could constitute criminal activity (e.g. physical and sexual harm, threats of harm, malicious communications)

Remember that you do not have to wait for the school to act – if your child/ a child in your care has suffered significant harm or is at risk of significant harm, you can go straight to your local children’s services team and/or the police.

3. Prepare to meet with the school

Requesting a meeting

You can request a meeting with the school using our template letter/email.

Preparing for the meeting

Make sure you are able to explain what has happened and the impact it has had on your child. You can use the Kidscape log and school contact record to keep records of what’s happened.

Ask the school who will be attending the meeting. Let them know who you are bringing with you, and whether you have any support needs to help you fully participate in the meeting. Ask the school if notes and action points can be recorded and shared after the meeting.

Take with you:

A copy of the school anti-bullying policy and any other relevant policies or procedures. Highlight the main points beforehand
A record of incidents, including the impact on your child. You can use the Kidscape log and school contact record to help with this
Any previous correspondence or evidence that is relevant
A list of questions you want answered, or main points you wish to make
Any comments from your child about the situation, ideally in their own words

4. Meet with the school

Be calm and assertive

Start the meeting by being clear that you want to work together to stop the bullying situation and that your goal is for your child to feel safe and happy in school. You could read out a written statement that you have prepared in advance, if that makes it easier. It’s okay to be sad, but try not to raise your voice or get angry.

Set your expectations

Explain to the school that what you need from them is support for the bullying to stop, and for your child to get the help they need.

Agree an action plan

The school may not agree that what has occurred is a bullying situation. If this is the case, bring them back to the definition of bullying in their anti-bullying policy and reaffirm the impact the situation is having on your child. Even if you can’t agree on what has occurred, you are here because your child needs their help. Work together on an action plan considering who can take responsibility for each area. Agree a day and time to feedback.

Some suggestions that you could make to the school to support your child:

Having a designated ‘safe’ person. This should be someone the child chooses, likes and trusts. For example, it may be a teacher or it may be a Teaching Assistant or someone from the Pastoral Team.
Having a ‘safe place’. This can be the office of someone they trust, a library, a quiet room, etc.
Give your child a special card/signal (e.g. a certain book that could be handed to the teacher) that that allows them to leave a classroom unquestioned (in the relevant circumstances). There should be a plan in place for where they go when they need to use it, but this also means that they don’t feel trapped in a class for an hour.
Ask the school if there is an older pupil who could act as a peer mentor to your child.
Are there any small group activities at break and lunchtimes that your child could take part in which could provide some distance from the bullying situation and help to build new relationships?
Whether your child can start/finish school or particular activities earlier/ later.
Whether your child can have access to support from the school pastoral/ counselling service.

5. Be clear what’s happened in the meeting

Be clear on what’s been discussed

The Kidscape log and school contact record includes how to document your interactions with the school. Fill out the ‘school contact’ section together at your meeting.

Keep your child informed

If your child is not in the meeting, make sure you share their views and hopes and tell your child about agreed next steps. This will reassure them, and it is vital that they tell you whether the actions are making a difference.